Virtually Simple Strategies – Basic Human Decency
Yes, I know, this subject is potentially a HUGE can of worms and fireworks mixed together, but I just “can’t not” put it out there. My goal here is not to agitate, pontificate, irritate, aggravate, but to initiate deeper thought and radical compassion for each other. Another noteworthy point before we go on, this is an editorial style article and not a hard news story. I preface my content like this because I was trained as a journalist in college and in my early days at Defense Information School that journalist’s are supposed to report facts, not opinions, unless presenting an editorial or entertainment article.
That said, Here we go…
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“Our greatest social responsibility is to demonstrate to all others
how to live in this world of hunger, sorrow, and injustice with generosity, dignity, and decency.”
― Chris Ernest Nelson
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What IS Basic Human Decency?
This is not a rhetorical question… I really want to hear from you. What it means to you personally. Not reciting your politics, religion, media, debates or current events, but rather what does basic human decency look like to you? When I looked up the term decency and the variations of it, I have to say I was pretty unimpressed with what I found. This quickly inspired me to start others what it means to them. The variety of answers or in some cases, inability to answer have been so intriguing. Again, I ask you, “What is basic human decency to you?” Please consider this deeply. Please stop reading now and collect and record your thoughts.
If we are truly re-writing our world, shouldn’t we start envisioning and clarifying where we are going? What are we creating? Specifically, where our common ground is and what our shared goals are? So, maybe I’m premature in asking this, but I personally have always responded to trauma in my life with some processing and grieving, but transition to vision and forward movement. I always want to create a better existence and learn from my life circumstances.
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“When I say it’s you I like, I’m talking about that part of you that knows that
life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch.
That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things
without which humankind cannot survive.
Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war,
and justice that proves more powerful than greed.”
― Fred Rogers
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I’ve been a “look at the bright side” person most of my life… sometimes to a fault and to my own demise. This attitude has genuinely served me well more often than not. I watched “It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” with Tom Hanks and Matthew Rhys this week of anger, hurt, riots and confusion. Honestly, the movie was different than I’d anticipated and that was okay. The movie is “based” on truth about an article written by Tom Junod about Fred Rogers for Esquire magazine in 1998 called “Can You Say…Hero?” I found myself worried the whole time that my vision of Fred Rogers would be crushed and that he would be revealed to not be who I thought he was.
The truth is, he wasn’t who I thought he was. Rather, it appears there was much more to him than I even thought. He seems to have a deep sense of decency and sees in other people, perhaps when most of us can’t. Even more specifically, he understood children more than anyone I’ve ever experienced. Don’t worry, no spoiler alert for the movie here. What was most important is that with the juxtaposition of this story with the story of our world in Spring of 2020, I am now on a quest. It started with what I always ask when I see a movie based on true events… I ask well, what was true? This led me to start with reading the “Can You Say…Hero?” article by Junod.
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“In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to
listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that
our questions are just as important as our answers.”
― Fred Rogers
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Next, I started asking friends about Mr Rogers… this quickly became a discussion of decency. However, the current world’s backdrop of rage, riots and injustice became such a huge contrast that I didn’t even know if I should ask a question like this publicly or whether or not to post anything right now. When I asked, and prayed and listened I came to the conclusion that asking from a point of seeking to listen and understand, rather than vent my case works well. The discussions I’m having with friends of all walks, races, genders and faith are creating a deep radical compassion in me. I encourage you to try it…especially if you have no idea what to say or how to start the conversation.
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“We live in a world in which we need to share responsibility. It’s easy to say
“It’s not my child, not my community, not my world, not my problem.”
Then there are those who see the need and respond.
I consider those people my heroes.”
― Fred Rogers
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I will be sharing on my social media the responses I am getting to my question “What is basic human decency?” And perhaps it can be a conversation starter for you or jog your own ideas of how to build bridges of compassion, love, understanding and forward movement. Two way meaningful communication is always WIN-WIN. All parties can be better for the discussion and hopefully even better for the real action and change that is born from it.
I encourage you before you ask others to start forming your own thoughts about what decency looks like and consider a personal inventory of where you are on that spectrum. If you fall short (we all do sometimes) have grace. If someone else around you falls short, extend grace. We each have a choice right now how we get to respond to what has all happened in our volatile world. You choose whether or not to dig heels in from fear or anger. You choose what you post or don’t post on social media. You choose the example of decency you can be for your family, friends and community. No circumstances can crush conviction. Just deeply consider what you are convicted about and why. Simply be a positive example of decency and choose love over hate… It wins in the end.
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“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me,
“Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
― Fred Rogers
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Please Visit me on Facebook or Instagram and share what basic human decency is to you.
* Virtual Meeting Concierge Facebook
* Virtual Meeting Concierge Instagram
Ideas for Starting Conversations You Don’t Know How to Start…
- First give careful consideration to your own beliefs and your goal for communication.
- Start by saying “I have no idea where or how to begin, so here it goes…”
- Ask if you can ask a question, and then ask and listen.
- Watch “It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” even if you never watched Mr Rogers.
- Seek out books, movies and articles about people who are considered heroes.
- Create opportunities for real conversations.
- Open your head and heart to receiving.
Click to read the original article written by Tom Junod about Fred Rogers for Esquire magazine in 1998 called “Can You Say…Hero?”
